3 Months Into A New World
First thank you to everyone that has expressed their support and prayers for healing for me after I let people know in a previous post about my current battle with a rare type of cancer.
The love and support I feel from those around me is humbling and gives me the gift of amazing healing energy. I have been asked for updates and it has been hard for me to put into words where things currently stand. I am 3 months into my 9 month integrative alternative treatment approach to healing my cancer. Sense my type doesn’t respond to traditional western approaches this road picked me. Health care and choices can create polarizing effects and I am choosing to stay away from questions like, what are you doing, have you tried, what is the prognosis and instead focusing on my intuition and medical team to guide me to what will allow my body to heal – after all I have 2 beautiful girls, an amazing husband and one heck of a life’s mission – so I will heal!
Lessons I have learned in the last few months
Like all health issues I have good days and rough ones. One of the things I have come to see very clearly is this “bump” in the road is giving me the opportunity to practice what I preach and once again put our program into practice in my own life.
Having your mortality face you head on gives you a perspective that typically I’d imagine I would not have at 40. With this new clarity, I believe even more in the method of equine assisted counseling I’ve developed at Unbridled Change and its ability to heal your whole self, so that you can step into your personal power to create the life that matches who you truly are.
At different points in my life I was a power house at developing my body, or my mind, or my spirit. While I connected my mind, body and spirit all together here and there throughout my life I wouldn’t say I keep them that way as a norm. It took a while for me to figure out I needed to not just put all the pieces together when needed, but to truly heal and step into my authentic self I had to unify myself all the time.
In 2008, when I started Unbridled Change, I began the journey of truly integrating the “pieces of self” as I stepped into my own voice and power by creating an organization that matched my passion, purpose in life, and ethics. My current life “bumps” are helping me shed the final deep layers that stole my heart from inside me. I have a deeper knowing and felt sense of seeing that I no longer need to define myself by different “roles” of self – the warrior, the feeler, the healer, the silent sufferer, the mother, the wife, the daughter and sister. At the beginning of my healing journey I needed to be able see each part separately. However, now those labels create a divide and fight within me of who has the power. That fight is unnecessary now because they are all me! Just like when I am partnering with a horse the line between me and them blurs creating one heart, one mind, one desire.
Everything has lead me to this moment of understanding and deep knowing that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, being led to create and do exactly what I am and will do. I don’t have to fight for life, “Life” is within me! I have the power to create hope, health, and healing in my body (literally) and also in my life. I choose to embrace and embody the concept of living fully and completely in tune with my true self. Through this choice I know that I will not only survive this illness but step into a level of true health and connection I haven’t had since I was 13 when that illness caused my body, mind, and spirit to split into pieces in order to survive. Healing this “cancer” means, for me, healing my whole self – so on the journey I continue and hopefully in 6 months I will be 100% healthy and whole!
