Trust, Faith, and Change of Perspective

I’m not even sure how to begin to write and share about my experience I had this past week with our boy herd, Wiscey, Steel, Peppy and Kota.  Ending point – We had complete trust and belief in each other.  I felt no fear, no worry, only acceptance and freedom coming from the horses!

How did we end up there?  It was early morning before the barn was open and I was the only human on the property.  I had come in early just to share space with our boys.  They had been having a few higher emotional sessions with our clients and I felt they need some undemanding time with me.  I also wanted the time with them.  I let them into the arena.  I had five piles of hay, a chair, brushes, fly spray and my notebook.  The barn was peaceful and quiet.  I love a quiet barn and being able to get lost in the memorizing rhythmic sound of their chewing and swishing tails.  I said hello and wiped down each horse with my hands.  I sat down in my chair, grounded myself into my heart space, and began to write in my journal.  My topic this morning was on freedom – personal freedom not political freedom.  This topic was rolling around in my head like a freight train and came based off a writing challenge from a book I’m reading by Brendon Burchard, “The Motivation Manifesto”.  While I was writing each horse came up to me.  Steel had a fly bugging him and stood still while I smacked it off and killed it.  Wiscey nudged my hand and I scratch him on his head and neck for a bit then patted him and went back to writing.  Peppy came to stand next to me, his head hovering over me as I wrote.  His soft warm breath was blowing in my ear and on the side of my face.  Kota came over and asked for a scratch as well by moving my hand.  All “requests” felt respectful.  I willingly answered each of them with a “Yes” then went back to my journaling.

I came to a point that I paused in my journaling.  Wiscey came up to me, stood in front me with his barrel at my knees, and turned and looked at me.  This was a pattern of movement that I have gathered after weeks of him offering it was his way to inviting me to hop on him.

Smiling and knowing his request at this point, I put down my journal.  Standing up on the chair I reached over and scratched the other side of him.  He stood quietly so up on top I went.  Once up there, I took my time rubbing him and scratching him all over.  I had no agenda or plan for our next move.  I was just enjoying our expanded sharing space as a passenger rather than sitting in the chair.  Eventually, I asked him to walk off to a different pile of hay.  He replied with yes and walking off willingly.  When I asked to halt at the next pile he said yes again.

I often work them in a herd so this isn’t something new for Wiscey and I to ride at liberty with his buddies.  Our training lessons normally expand from this pattern and I thought that was where I was heading this morning to work on leg and weight cues.  Luckily I saw something different from the horses.  The new thing I have been noticing over the past couple of weeks was the feeling that the others would like the same progression of sharing space, grooming, and free riding.   I haven’t worked with any of the others this way (bitless riding yes – liberty riding no) so I wasn’t really sure the impression I was getting was right or not.

As I was enjoying the moment riding Wiscey, a song came on with lyrics talking about what my soul needs.  Wiscey brought me to be with Steel and Peppy.  I reached over, while still astride Wiscey, and rubbed them too.  The next time I asked Wiscey to move to a new pile they decided to move with us as well.  We moved like that from pile to pile.  Halting when we halted and walking when we walked.  Turning when we turned.  I had the vision of the scene from a movie, How to Train a Dragon 2, in which one of the characters moves effortless from dragon to dragon while in flight with them, flash in my mind.  With that thought Steel moved to be parallel and even with Wiscey.  He rubbed his barrel on my leg.  He turned his head just slightly so that he was looking at me.  Without thought I slide over to be on Steel.  He let out a deep breath and walked off on my cue.  I was now a passenger on Steel.  I rubbed him everywhere I could reach and thanked him for the ride.  Peppy and Wiscey remained with us.  We were moving as one massive organism.  Each of us were taking a turn asking and directing the flow of movement.  Peppy was next, coming up even with Steel, rubbing my leg with his barrel, and I guessed he wanted his turn.  I slid over to Peppy’s back.

I spent the next 20 minutes sliding from back to back.  Moving from one pile of hay to the next.  Moving to a gate to look out into the paddocks or hay field.  Moving to random points of arena.  It ended when a staff member came into the arena and I realized it was time to shift gears and get ready for the work day.  I slide down from Wiscey’s back.  As my feet touching the ground for the first time since hopping on Wiscey 30 minutes before I felt as if my whole perspective on what my horses want, what I want, what can happen with our relationships has forever shifted and changed.

There are no words to every begin to explain how this moment came to be.  It wasn’t my goal when I sat down in the chair.  It wasn’t even a thought in my mind that they would potentially “offer” this gift to me when I slid onto Wiscey’s back.  I never could have imagined that my horses would want or accept me on this level.  I never could have imagined that I would have had this level of faith and trust in them before this moment – it went against everything I was “taught” in the conventional horse world.  My journaling was on freedom.  Here is the last thing I wrote before they showed me a new world:

I AM FREE!

Free to breathe

Free to speak

Free to live

Free to connect

Free to want more out my life

Free to want more out of my relationships

Free to accept that people can want more out of me

Free to give

Free to fail

Free to try again and again

Free to be me

Free to feel all that life and the universe has to offer me!

What a shift!  I have an overflowing feeling of gratitude to all those that have been a part of my path through life to this point!  During that hour, I felt the concept that our limiting beliefs can keep us from deeper connections on a completely new level.  I have been working so hard over the past 8 years to challenge any and all limiting beliefs for myself as a person, as a horsewoman, as a trainer, as a business person, as a mom.  My horses gave me the gift of allowing me to embodied the theory that there are no limits beyond what we create.

Peace and a sense of freedom,
Michelle